Truth to power: keeping cool in the heat
Are you facing a firestorm of a crisis – how will you handle it? In a calm, #surrendered and truthful way, take the lash-out route or will you simply walk away? Are you going to stick to your guns, compromise or do nothing?
As you can well imagine, a measured approach is needed not to get caught up in the heat of the moment, allow stress to raise your blood pressure and make your blood boil, and, additionally, keep those hormones in check so you don’t dissolve into a puddle of tears while under fire. In other words, we talk about how to maintain #balance and protect #boundaries when it is needed the most, when you are taking the heat.
Hellish ride with a boss
Put on your seatbelts, we are going for a hellish ride with a boss. Unfortunate, but necessary as it ties in so perfectly with the biblical reference and I hope that it will be infinitely clear how it all fits together. Am I against bosses? No, I have had my share over the years and each one has imparted special insights and knowledge to me. Although, granted, I have gelled with some more than others.
As much as I am an introvert and like working on my own, there is something special about working in a great team and being fired up in a good way by inspirational #leadership as well as knowledgeable and likeable colleagues. I get a kick from seeing work done as a collective that could never be done by an individual. There is something so beautiful in that and it is worth fighting for.
But what if the leader of the pack is not so cool? Unsure of his/her ability and as result insecure in said role? Can a healthy #team be built on that foundation? We know that adage, a fish rots from the head, right? Can a few well-placed right-hand men and women make a difference?
Meet Gareth, an effusively charming young man who loves an adrenaline rush. You can find him anywhere testosterone is on full display. He is a typical millennial: super confident, dressed to the tee, ambitious, the lot. The upper echelon sees him as a mover and shaker. They regard him as the face of the future, a valuable member of the team in every way and the big guns have great plans for him. And he knows it.
Gareth’s weakness is, ironically, that he can’t bear weakness in others, has been known to have a short fuse and throw a temper tantrum or two. On occasion, has even been known to leave a few co-workers in tears. He has just been promoted to Cassie’s division and she is petrified.
You see Cassie, mother of one and widow for a number of years now, is no longer as energetic as before now that she is in her 40s, is in no mood for pretence, and she has definitely earned her stripes after being with the company for 15 years. But she sure didn’t see this emotional roller-coaster ride coming.
Meet Mr Perfect
You see, Gareth, is Mr Perfect. I did nothing wrong is his assumed mantra and he seemingly oozes that self-possessed charm that disarms others. He has built a reputation of near never being wrong and annoyingly, it is true, he is often right on stuff.
Recently, Cassie found herself being unable to sleep very well and reacting from a very run-down, tired space. The insomnia was getting to her. She reckoned it was the thought of sending her son off to university and wondering whether her savings would be depleted in the process, her future and the added realities of layoffs, #redundancies and retrenchments that were the order of the day.
She had heard rumours that the bosses were considering streamlining the staff at her company and this further ramped up her anxiety. Gareth coming over to their team just compounded her fears; made her more jittery than usual. But she told herself that she just needed to work hard, grin and bear it and, importantly, get on with Gareth.
Bizarrely, there was yet an additional layer to her anxiety: she had started to have crazy, pounding headaches out of the blue, swollen feet, weird vibrating shocks, and was generally poorly. She could not explain it, but what was most concerning was the lapses of memory. She sometimes sounded like a complete idiot at the times she had to be most in command of her job. In a way, she could understand why her new boss gave her the side-eye and she sensed he didn’t trust her on key projects. And alarmingly, her expertise was being called on less and less, driving her to panic. And she was panicking more often now too.
Gareth was a stickler for all things tech and shortcuts in any form were high on his list in order to promote efficiency on the job. She was quick – had always been, but somehow she was lagging behind, and she felt a little dowdy next to him too. And he had made mention of her outfit in a roundabout way once; said that he wanted a team that was young and dynamic. Where was she going to get the clothes?
He often made comments about the fact that he was so young to be the incumbent of his position. Gareth also made disparaging comments of other senior personnel and older members of #staff behind their backs. It did not sit well with her, but he was charming in their presence, and to them he was the epitome of a fantastic leader.
Not too long into his tenure, she discovered that he had some skeletons in his cupboard; despite the what you see is what you get bravado. Oddly, at some point, he had started to take her into his confidence. From being his unwitting confidant, it was quite clear that Gareth was a deceitful man. One who also liked to encroach on her time all the time. She was almost constantly in his #office; he liked to see what she was doing as she was doing it. The pressure was on – it wasn’t her style and she often worked late to catch up with all he demanded.
Inadvertently, this pitted her against her other #colleagues, who were increasingly becoming uncomfortable with the situation. Other colleagues did not like him either, and though they liked that she kept him at bay and away from them, they felt that the two were way too cosy. As a result, she found herself isolated and unable to express herself – she felt invisible with no voice. But inside, her emotions were churning and her gut was screaming – something was so wrong with this façade.
One day though, she vehemently disagreed with him on the direction of a passion project. He refused to listen to her and kicked her off one of the projects she loved the most and from which she derived comfort amid all the turbulence at work. She was heartbroken. Her project was handed to the young, dynamic and upcoming.
Truth under fire
Cassie heard nothing more about the project until the day she received an invitation to hear Gareth present the work to the company’s seniors and top brass from abroad. It was slick, an ode to sophistication in a sense and all things tech and modern, but it was a terrible concept and she knew it – she had, after all, advised against it. She kept her head down to avoid eye contact and kept scribbling.
All of a sudden, Gareth called on her to explain why she had drafted the proposal. She was thrown into the fire and under the bus, completely stunned and looked at him in disbelief. His eyes were glaring angrily at her, daring her to disagree with him publicly. Put on the spot, she found herself on the backfoot, her face flushed and with a split second to figure out what she was going to do.
She knew that there are always consequences for everything in life and weighed up whether she could live with herself if she took the fall for this and whether her passion project would move forward as a result or be shelved? Cassie’s mind was made up.
She decided to tell the truth even if it got her fired. Emboldened, she told the senior execs and the top brass that she had been removed from the project months before, why she disagreed with the approach presented and then told them what the merits of her approach were.
Her #boss was spitting daggers; she could feel the anger emanating from him. There was a deadly silence in the room as she boldly outlined her robust strategy and passionately persuaded them about her point of view. As she concluded, she waited anxiously for the vilification that she thought was sure to come, the denial, the affront, but instead she was met with questioning stares and interested gestures. Fired proper or readmitted to the project?
Been in that situation before? You sensed something was wrong but you dared not speak up? Then found yourself in a situation where you enabled others by taking their consequences and, as a result, were unable to stand up to people who were not in your corner even though they purported to be so? Then one day, you did … and there were consequences.
Benefit of a biblical perspective
Once again, we turn to the Bible to get a biblical perspective. Let’s start in Daniel chapter 1. We meet our unlikely protagonists: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. They were Hebrews of noble birth living in captivity in Babylon. Foreigners, in the minority, knowing all too well that they did not belong. Let’s move on to the pivotal crux of the story in Daniel 2:48-49, we hear more about them after Daniel, the great prophet of God, interpreted King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream. I quote:
Seems like not everyone was pleased about Daniel and the three noblemen’s promotions because it set in motion something quite despicable. But let’s look at the text and do a quick run-through of the first verses in chapter 3. King Nebuchadnezzar set up an image of gold and decided to hold a dedication ceremony. He summoned all of his officials. Then I will quote the Bible on what happens next in Chapter 3:4-6
Now the Jews, the intrepid three noblemen as mentioned earlier did not bow down to the statue he had set up. They were obedient to their God and would not bow to man, even if that man was king of their adopted country and their lives and livelihoods hung in the balance. Playing with fire for sure here. Verses 8 -12 describe it as follows:
Where there is smoke, there is a fire. The scene set revealed foreign men who loved their God and it was clear they would not compromise – to the chagrin of others. Notice who was finding fault in this scenario – the astrologers. In verse 12, we are given a hint as to why – There are some Jews whom you have set over the affairs of the province of Babylon. Let’s take a look at whose bacon was saved and whose hide was almost tanned in chapter 2. Take a moment to read chapter 2 verses 10 to 13:
The text reveals a ruthless king with a short fuse who knew what he wanted and fully planned on getting it. He had murderous intent and had no qualms about executing it – pun intended. A dangerous man! Into this walks a man of God, Daniel, and by revealing the king’s dream as enabled by God, literally saved this bunch from death. But so eager were some of them to point out these noblemen’s inactivity, somehow, they forgot to return the favour and, in fact, wanted the same fate for these three men. What could possibly be at the heart of such actions? Let’s read verses 13-15.
A king in full flight of anger, in no mood for any posturing or reasoning. No filibustering for this one. All that these three noblemen seemed to do was add fuel to the fire. He was enraged and had only one thing in mind: a blazingly hot, fiery furnace. He planned to have them thrown in to end what seemed like treasonous disobedience. It came down to whose God they would serve and it was clear that it was not the gods of King Nebuchadnezzar.
And he was furious, but what he did not foresee was that the God of the Universe was in control of this situation, though one would have expected Nebuchadnezzar to know better considering he had already had a miraculous brush with the living God recorded in Daniel 2. One of the most courageous, awe-inspiring utterances of men in the face of the wrath of a king, utterances which undoubtedly incurred his ire further, are recorded next. Read verses 16-18. I quote:
Ouch! If it were me, I was going to sugar-coat this for sure. They had certainly jumped from the frying pan into the fire. Talk about burning your bridges. The king was clearly incensed and the Bible reveals that his attitude towards them changed. He ordered the furnace to be heated seven times hotter. What would you have done? What could they have done?
He then commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie them up and throw them in the furnace. It would appear that they no longer got on like a house on fire. So fired up were they on their stance on God that it seemingly was about to get them smoked. Roasted, toasted, whatever. Let’s read verses 22-23 together:
I always wondered whether God could have saved these valiant men before it got to this point. But I think that it would probably not have made it into the Bible otherwise, because look what happened next in verses 24 and 25:
The long and short of it is that Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire unharmed. The wise men – the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. Verse 27: “ …and they saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.”
A miracle had surely taken place. The king exclaimed the following, verses 28 and 29:
What a turn of events and then can you guess what happened next?
As the adage goes, it is always darkest before the dawn. These men were convicted about their faith and nothing would stop them from obeying God. When it looked like the chips were seriously down and that there was no way that they were going to make it out alive, God came to the rescue.
Sometimes, we find ourselves having to stay #calm in the heat, when fiery circumstances threaten to engulf us and get us down, well not six feet quite, but we find ourselves depressed, hopeless, anxious, undermined, undervalued, overlooked and not taken care of, but God sees. And acts when he deems the time to be right.
I always say that God acts a bit late for my liking. I like to see how things are going to pan out way in advance, not teeter on the edge like that, but that is not faith, is it? One day, if I ever get to chat to these men in the heavenlies, I would like to ask them what they really thought when they were being thrown into the fire. Toast? Taking a grilling? I bet they were certainly not grinning.
And when they found themselves free and walking in the same fire, how cool was that hey. It is like Peter walking on water in a storm in a way. I do not recall reading about anyone else surviving a blazing furnace quite like this – ever. I wonder if they woke up during the night just reliving it and grinning in the dark. What did they think when they encountered the fourth person. It says it looked like a son of the gods.
There has been so much speculation regarding the identity of this fourth person, but can you imagine hobnobbing, even for a brief moment, with this being? In an impossibly hot fire and then escape with no sign of being singed. A miraculous, momentous moment.
What a day, what a God. Do you think that their faith was strengthened that day? What do you think the gang around them thought? They were aware that some among them had sold them out and now these three were promoted. Awkward!
Remain true
Something else that stood out for me is this: sometimes in life, we have no guarantees, something that these men seemed to have come to terms with – clear from reading their response to the king. They were willing to die for what they believed in. Yet, despite acknowledging it clung on in faith nonetheless – and did God deliver. Not quite fireworks but with as much, if not more, fanfare; fire certainly worked to get the point across here.
They were dealing with the One who had once been in a pillar of cloud and fire, see Exodus 13:21 – in a wilderness taking out an Egyptian army and throwing them into confusion. He knows a thing or two about fires. The All-knowing God is truly master of everything.
As for the men of Babylon and for our fictitious lot, I do not doubt that there were had to be some #truth-telling sessions in order for them to move things forward. To figure out when the ability to be honest had been throttled and why – conjecture on my part, yes, but I cannot imagine it being resolved otherwise. When are you tempted to lie or keep quiet for fear of unjust reprisal – Why? What is commendable from this passage of Scripture is the ability of these three men to speak truth to #power, to stand up for their beliefs and keep real cool under fire.
The lessons I learnt are that you have to remain true to your values, belief in the true God and your gut. Any time those are threatened, you end up compromising and it leaves you empty and violates your own boundaries. These men have given me a powerful illustration of how to do it when it matters the most. I tend to be a people-pleaser and tend to want to keep the “peace” – I am not a huge fan of conflict, that is why I often feel the urge to sugar-coat things – make things more palatable.
I see none of it here, however, I have to point out that it was a life-and-death situation – not everything is quite as intense. There are times when brutal honesty is important and it requires a huge amount of discernment to know when. On the other hand, it is also important to win people over diplomatically, as I said discernment is required.
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