Plotting your downfall

When it comes to things of the #heart and mind, where boundaries, limits and #balance are by nature not easily discernible, a minefield in this area is to be expected. Sometimes, people step into your space, be it in your private or professional life because of jealousy and a feeling of #displacement. Often the person whose boundaries are violated has not instigated the situation in the least. To illustrate, we head over to the office, not quite that one, but let’s get some colleagues over to demonstrate.

Stepping out of a comfort zone

First up, meet Martina who happens to be elatedly jumping up and down having landed her dream job after thinking that it just wasn’t going to materialise. She had started to believe that she was doomed to do menial tasks for ever when her heart yearned for so much more.  

Fast forward to her first day on the new job. She had meticulously chosen her outfit – ironed, cleaned, preened, the works – and spent ages doing her hair that morning. This was it and she could barely contain her excitement – she couldn’t wait to meet her new colleagues. She planned to hit the ground running. The usual nerves were, of course, there. It was why she had tossed and turned the night before, but experience had taught her that, in the end, she would be alright. Her nervousness was compounded by the fact that she was all too aware that this was the golden opportunity she had been dreaming of. She could not mess this up. She was stepping out of her comfort zone BIG time and she wondered if she would cut the mustard.

Her colleagues seemed amazing and she was determined to give it a good go. Immediately, she set out to learn as much as she could and committed herself to giving her best. She was desperate to do well on this job that she felt was made in heaven: it was such a good fit. Her duties were clearly demarcated and there were no issues – she knew what she had to do and quickly discerned the quality required. Standards were high, but she believed it helped her to be the professional she dreamed of being and would be an invaluable stepping stone for her future. She was loving it and thriving.

Months later though, things started to get a little bit sticky. Martina would be the first to acknowledge that she was not the easiest person to get along with, but hoped that she was approachable enough that people would let her know if something offended them. She was a #conflict avoider and tended to be nice; definitely not one to ruffle feathers or rock the boat and had not had major, long-lasting issues with colleagues in the past. She generally was a team player who would try to act #diplomatically.

She was an also a real softie – somehow she ended helping people when, really, she shouldn’t have. Due to her own struggles to maintain proper #boundaries, she often found herself covering up for one of her colleagues: Kai. Said colleague was quite the scatterbrain and would often miss deadlines, but Martina was eager to help and was trying hard to be an asset to her colleague who had such vast experience. To boot, Kai was a heap of fun, cracking a joke or two when there was too much tension and was generally a good soul – so she thought.

Formerly, Kai had been responsible for most of the work that Martina was now required to do and she had been hired, in part, to help to ease the workload as Kai had way too much on the proverbial plate. So it was quite strange then when they started to have a few bust-ups. These made her feel quite anxious to the point that she could not sleep properly at night. What was going on? Martina noticed that Kai was starting to undermine her work all of a sudden. Barbed comments were becoming the norm, and Kai seemed to watch her every move and was becoming overly critical. Martina was perplexed because she had believed that they worked so well together as a team. Now interactions seemed fraught with tension.

Things are not quite what they seem

She was aware that some tasks on their individual job descriptions had started to overlap, but it had been well managed up to that point. Now, slowly but surely the work usually assigned to Martina was being assigned to Kai instead. Had she dropped her level of performance? She critically assessed the situation and could not find any reason to think that she had and her last appraisal had gone extremely well. Her boss had been reassuring. In fact, she had been working hard, learning from her mistakes and improving her skills through online courses and tutorials. Thus she felt that she was even better equipped to make a mark for the team and by extension the company.

But she also noticed that her boss always seemed to recognise Kai’s efforts in team meetings, while Martina’s work was briefly acknowledged if at all. Her opinions were seemingly not as important either and her accomplishments, well, these were often skimmed over. It did not seem fair.    

It quickly became clear to Martina that something major was wrong. Though Kai was undoubtedly more experienced, had a varied skill set and had so much to offer; she, on the other hand, did not feel threated as she felt that they both brought something unique to the table. Perhaps, it was not what the organisation wanted, because she started to notice that the type of jobs she started to get were more skivvy ones, less likely to catch anyone’s attention. She was required to be in fewer and fewer meetings. Side-lined is how one could describe it. If she did well at whatever job was left, it would be taken away and given to Kai. What?

In stark contrast to Kai’s scatter-brained foibles was the eagle-eyed intensity of Kai’s surveillance of Martina’s work and interactions. Any sign that she was doing well and Kai seemed to ensure that it was taken away somehow or downplayed. Martina had covered up for Kai’s disorganisation in the past, but as the relationship soured she felt less inclined to do so as she had often found herself working late at critical times in order to meet deadlines. She also realised that the same dedication to the job was not reciprocated. Kai went home early every day, whether the work was done or not. Martina found herself picking up the pieces, but Kai often got all the credit.   

Despite Martina’s real difficulties, no one else seemed to notice or care. It certainly was not addressed, and at every turn, there was Kai belittling, undermining and generally just sparking bad vibes. Kai basked in the schadenfreude of the situation. Boundaries on the job had clearly been violated as roles and job descriptions had become blurry. Does this resonate? Did you have colleagues, a boss, or maybe even a friend or family member who made your life difficult? People who exhibited similar traits?

Navigating murky waters

Well, let’s see if the Bible can shed bright light on these and help to illuminate the condition of the heart. Once again, we find ourselves camped out in 1 Samuel 17 – the same chapter as last week. For those who missed it, it is the chapter better known for its description of the epic duel between David and Goliath. But my focus today is, once again, on a different relationship – David and Saul.

We first encounter Saul who would become #king of Israel in 1 Samuel 9:2 New International Version. The Bible describes Saul as follows: “Kish had a son named Saul, as handsome a young man as could be found anywhere in Israel, and he was a head taller than anyone else.”

My, my, we have quite the dashing young man in King Saul. Certainly a standout in more ways than one. He could not help but be noticed. He was chosen to become the king of Israel and the Bible extols his physical characteristics. God had told Samuel to anoint him as king – read 1 Samuel 9: 17 – and at the time, Saul was a humble man. In 1 Samuel 9:21, Saul expresses the following: “Saul answered, ‘but am I not a Benjaminite, from the smallest tribe in Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin?’”

Something that needs to be mentioned here is that Saul’s kingship was in response to the people rejecting #God as Ruler and King and wanting an earthly king instead. Read 1 Samuel 10:19 for context.

Let’s imagine a time when a king ascends to the crown – actually, we do not have to, King Charles III springs to #mind. Can you imagine the pomp and ceremony of his coronation scheduled for 6 May? Can you imagine him not turning up because he is afraid? Well, considering that he was heir apparent for 70 years, we better hope not. But on the day that Saul was to be anointed before the nation, where does the Bible say he found himself? Well, we read that Saul had hid himself among the supplies when he was supposed to go forward. This, despite having God’s Spirit on him, being told that he had been chosen, and more importantly, that the Living God was with him. Was it a portent of things to come?

The beginning of a right royal rumble

Compare it to the valiant way that teenager David rose to prominence as he stepped into his role as king discussed at length in last week’s podcast. King David had overcome the charge of a real-life giant at a juncture in the life of the Israelite army when a proper military man with the heart and #courage to take down such a villainous man was impossible to find, a battle that I believe was Saul’s to fight.

Initially, in 1 Samuel 10:24, the Bible describes Saul as follows: “Samuel said to all the people, ‘Do you see the man the Lord has chosen? There is no one like him among all the people.'” In addition, when Saul started out, he had the support of valiant men whose hearts God had touched and he grew in #stature and was accepted as king of Israel.

Samuel said to all the people, “Do you see the man the Lord has chosen? There is no one like him among all the people.”

1 Samuel 10:24

Now we find a number of ironies – Saul, who was originally anointed at the time when Israel rejected God as King, found himself rejected by God as king. Saul, chosen by God, had explicitly decided not to follow God’s instructions and God “regretted” making him king and, subsequently, chose a new king, a man after God’s own heart.

But what I actually want to mention specifically is this –a giant comes along spewing venom, pointedly roiling and riling up all of Israel. One man is called upon to fight for his nation. And there happens to be a king who had been anointed the first human king of Israel, a man on whom the spirit of God had rested and was it by chance that he happened to be the tallest of the lot? Do you, like me, start to think that this is a no-brainer? That the natural choice to take down the Philistine was King Saul?

Let us take a closer look at this man Saul, who had slain the enemies of the nation in the past, but who literally did not want to rise up and tackle this problem that was besetting Israel. The basis of kingship in Israel was stated in 1 Samuel 8:20 – “Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.” The reason Saul was chosen as king was to fight the battle on behalf of his people.

Compelling reasons

There were compelling reasons why Saul was the man who should have taken up his shield and battled the giant. Instead, he decided to publicly reward the man who would go and fight in his place. Surely, that could be seen as shirking one’s responsibility towards your people and God.

I believe that Saul did not want to risk it because of the striking verse, 1 Samuel 16:14, quoted as follows: “Now the Spirit of the LORD had departed from Saul …” Saul understood that he was rejected as king, no longer in good standing with God if you will and that the Spirit of God had left him. Understandably, he was thus hesitant to go into battle as he was fully cognisant that a battle of such proportions undertaken without the shield of protection given as God’s chosen one was a risky undertaking. Juxtapose this to the rise of the new king chosen by God, the new incumbent that had the Spirit on him. The preceding verse, 1 Samuel 16: 13 states:

“So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David. Samuel then went to Ramah.”

1 Samuel 16:13

We have two men here, one who had lost kingship and no longer pleased God, who had erred by following his own way. One who was actually quite obsessed with himself – read 1 Samuel 15: 12,   “Early in the morning Samuel got up and went to meet Saul, but he was told, ‘Saul has gone to Carmel. There he has set up a monument in his own honour and has turned and gone on down to Gilgal.’”

Concerned with appearances

Saul, it would appear, was very much a man concerned with appearances. He was also known for his appearance. He also pleased the men around him to keep up appearances too. The man who hid himself among the supplies became a man who craved the attention of others and literally placed himself on a pedestal. He, in a sense, became his own god, small g. But before we decide to flagellate King Saul’s character, how often is it not true of us as individuals. We become obsessed with what others have to say about us. We trust others’ opinions of ourselves instead of obeying the Living God who knows everything from the beginning of time. I won’t easily denounce Saul, I see myself in him and his story is too important for us to be dismissive or miss the point entirely. His life is so relatable and we must, therefore, heed the warnings.

His disobedience, in a sense, helps us to clarify what qualities true leaders should have. His story precedes that of David ultimately, I believe, to serve as a warning especially as it is shown in such stark contrast. It helps us to understand what a man after God’s own heart with greater clarity is as the decisive trait was heart and not appearance.

In fact, if we really want to take this to the nth degree to see what matters to God, let’s turn to Isaiah 53:2, where the King who was to sit on the throne of the House of David, King Jesus was prophetically described as follows:

“He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.”

Isaiah 53:2

God is not against good looks, but, ultimately, he is after people with a #heart for him.

The battle with David and Goliath revealed the new king of the nation in all of God’s splendour. He rose up that day fuelled by his belief that this giant was uttering insults towards the army of the Living God, his God. And he was having none of it. Compare that to the day when Saul was revealed to the nation as king – he hid among the supplies.

Contrary to Saul, David knew that God was with him. He also knew that there was a reward on offer for the man who overcame the threat of Goliath. But that was not the driving factor – he was incensed that the name of the LORD was being trounced by this giant imposter railing against God.

His indignation and sincere #faith in God propelled him to action that day. His track record of faith in God helping when he had problems drove him on. Let us read 1 Samuel 17:34-36 together.

34 But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. 36 Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. 37 The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”

1 Samuel 17:34-36

I wonder if, even for a moment, he thought that he may not make it or whether his faith in God and his conviction about the fact that he had been anointed for a purpose was enough for him to understand that this obstacle, too, would be a thing of the past when dealt with decisively.

Warriors from their youth

What we do know is that Saul, the tallest and most powerful man in all Israel, decided to send this young, valiant teen into battle with a giant who had been a warrior from his youth. Read the rest of 1 Samuel 17:37: “Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you.” The rest is history. The Bible records that Goliath despised David when he laid eyes on him – as he was not even a trained soldier.

Could Saul have anticipated that he was standing with the anointed king, a warrior unafraid to take a stand from his youth and, ironically, cement his own status as a warrior from his youth? Could he have imagined the events to come as he tenaciously clung to his kingship? He had had 40 days to overcome his cowardice.

The Bible proceeds to show how David had refused to wear Saul’s armour as it was too large for him. This young lad knew who his God was and what his own limitations were. For one so young, he definitely knew a few things: one, that there was a disgrace in Israel; two, that he was anointed as king; and three, that God’s Spirit was on him. David never looked back. I marvel at that. How many times have I not hesitated to obey, riddled with self-doubt? Relying on my own strength or in some perverse way, looking at my past failures and successes as justification for inaction. Not David. This was not a passive man. From the moment he arrived and heard the insults being hurled by Goliath, he was incensed for God’s sake and it was not long before he took action and was out there facing a giant who had been taunting a nation for 40 days.

The result: a slain giant, an immense victory and an adoring outpouring of love and devotion by the people. Remember Saul, the one who had disobeyed to please the men was now perturbed by none other than the women this time. Let me quote:

When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with timbrels and lyres. As they danced, they sang:  “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.”
Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” And from that time on Saul kept a close eye on David.

1 Samuel 18:6-9

As I have already mentioned, I am neither a theologian nor a psychologist, but what seems clear from the text is that a man had been chosen to be king of the people of God. Though he looked the part and was taller than most, that meant nothing if he did not have the character required to be king of a nation. That role also only became available because Israel had rejected God. The very men who had rejected God as king were the ones who the new king sought to please. Go figure, as they say.

Repentance the key

History would not paint David as a saint either; he was a man of flaws too. However, David’s heart for God also led him to repentance after sinning and God, in his mercy, had so much grace. Saul, on the other hand, remained hard, unrepentant, and mercilessly hunted the man God had chosen in his place.

It would appear that he had an unhealthy desire to be number one and despite the kingship being removed, refused to hand over the reins and the reign. Samuel himself said that Saul would kill him if he discovered that he was about to anoint the new king. Why does this story sound so familiar and what happened to Saul that he cared so much about people and thought and so little of God. Even when confronted, he still asked the prophet of God to go with him to honour himself. Let’s read 1 Samuel 16:30: 30 Saul replied, “I have sinned. But please honour me before the elders of my people and before Israel; come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord your God.”

Contrition? A repentant heart and spirit? Not so much. Let us look at David when confronted with his sin. There is a whole chapter on it in Psalm 51, but let’s focus on:

1Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

Psalm 51: 1-4, 7,9,10-12 and 17

In conclusion, both erred greatly, one truly repented. In the end, Saul was a man who played his own fiddle and did things his way. If what was required did not fit his thinking or agenda, he just did not do it. Obedience: hard to find.

How does that tie in with Martina and Kai? I am sure you can see the similarities: a newbie eager to learn and an old hand feeling threatened. I believe that whenever you set out to do great work, God-inspired work and try to give God your best in the workplace or any other arena even church, you may find that you run into an obstacle or two. People, who you may have thought are on your side, turn against you all of a sudden. If you have God as your first priority, it is clear to see how that can easily lead you to some murky waters. Even God’s servants, as demonstrated clearly by Saul, have the ability to let you down.

David never asked to be chosen. It was not his plan to be anointed as king. Perhaps, at the very least he would have liked someone to show him the ropes, yet to his dismay, Saul tried to kill him in a pique of #jealousy instead.

I suppose the lesson for us all is that it is bound to happen, and to be prepared for when it does. Oddly, when you have an anointing on your life, people around you often do not appreciate it. Looking at it from their perspective, understanding that they are unaware that God is on the move, perhaps, it helps us to understand their perspective and fears a bit better, without downplaying the fact that the hurt caused can feel brutal. Let me know your thoughts.

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