Skin and the body you are living in


I have a bee in my bonnet and I am literally going to the scratch the surface of the effects of #hormones and #ageing on the #skin and the perimenopausal body you are in.

For better or worse, we all have a relationship with our skin and bodies and, by midlife, we are forced to re-evaluate it big time. Let us delve into that relationship and figure out what makes us comfortable and happy in our skin physically and figuratively. 

Thicker skin

I have often been told that I needed to develop a thicker skin, literally for decades, but I have come to the conclusion that I am an old softie. The parts of me I would be trading for this said thick skin would not make me, well, me.

That makes me comfortable in the skin I am actually in, accepting myself as I am and not having to change the vitally essential aspects of me for others. Yes, I get burned sometimes; I don’t have that apt comeback to someone who is clearly taking a potshot or being a little bit crass or callous. My heart hurts when someone seemingly takes advantage of me or hurls well-timed barbs the while smiling at me to my face. I never know quite how to deal with that and I hate falsehood. But all the challenges I encounter and overcome have a way of making me stronger and  helping me to embody the true individual living in the body I am in.

Skin starting to change in our 40s

As we hit our 40s and become more comfortable with how we conduct ourselves in the bodies we live in, we notice that our skin holding us all in is starting to change. Yes – wrinkling, sagging, itching or drying – porcelain skin it certainly isn’t more. Sun damage may also lead to #melasma or dark spots and, good golly, age spots, though emerging mostly in our 50s, could also start making a premature appearance. All of a sudden we are faced with unexpected new challenges to the body we are in.

And all the precautions we should have taken over our lifetime reveal themselves in our feet, hands, neck and décolletage, not to mention the #wrinkles around our eyes and the drooping going on around our mouths and, as we look in the mirror, we find ourselves staring at the dreaded jowls –  some #women mention literally starting to resemble their grandmothers.  

Hormones in overdrive

This actually leads to more stress, and as a result, more hormones go into overdrive and as I mentioned, we need to do everything we can to keep our hormones in check and balanced. No time for #cortisol overdrive or anything. Ironically, the joy of milestones and victories in our 40s can be tempered by how we look in those photos that have a pesky way of revealing our ageing skin.

How we respond to what we are reflecting on the outside is tantamount to the success we are going to have dealing with this. I want to stress, excuse the pun, that having a couple of well-placed wrinkles may actually enhance one’s looks so attitude is so important.  It is that joie de vivre that you have inside that makes you beautiful and probably plays a huge role in how you view your body. That is the beauty from within debate right there.

Body no longer functions like it used to

It is also the time when you notice that some body parts don’t quite function the way they used to. A friend’s elderly dad, familiar with all things mechanical and spare parts, once shared this absolute gem about ageing with me. He said that he wished that spare parts were available for ageing bodies, and at the time, I didn’t quite get it then.

Yes, there are transplants in extreme, life-threatening situations, if then, or if you have the money to afford costly procedures, but most people simply have to live with physical impairments. It is only when you start to have real issues with the functionality of your body that you truly start to understand what a powerhouse of a body you had in the first place.

You can try, but you will never quite replicate gorgeous skin when you are older in the same way as when you were young so enjoy the skin you have when you are young. I want to encourage every  young woman out there that while you have perfectly smooth, flawless skin, be aware of what a blessing it is. You do not need to have cosmetic #surgery in order to look like anyone else or to enhance body parts: you are fabulous just the way you are.

Dull-looking skin

Forty-somethings may also start to experience that the skin on the face, in particular, is no longer as bright and luminous as it used to be. It really appears dull-looking and one always seems in need of some sleep, even though that may not be the case at all. In the last few years, all kinds of #serums, retinols and acids have may their way into beauty regimens. Vitamin C especially is the Holy Grail for brightening the skin and helping to keep it younger looking, while collagen is the silver bullet for sagging skin.

Always remember the sunscreen

In any chat about the skin and ageing, it would be remiss not to mention sunscreen. I used to be sun worshipper in my teens, I loved baking in the sun – the Ozone was just becoming a thing then. Yes, it was that long ago. But now exposure to fun sun activities has to be limited and tanning for most of us is taboo, well not if you want skin that looks and feels like leather, but that is not a look I am going for.

I digress, #sunscreen and technology to make them as light and effective as a possible have improved leaps and bounds, making the hunt for a great sunscreen so much easier than even a decade ago and it is now so mainstream. But what a weapon to have in the fight for good skincare and great skin when you are older. So all you younger ladies out there, I implore you, please put on that sunscreen. Sun exposure is the number one cause of ageing and you can do a lot to preserve the beauty of your skin by taking the necessary precautions from a young age.

Foundation

Foundation for the skin, too, needs to change – these can become cakey, having an ageing effect on the skin. At this stage of the journey, it is better to aim for a softening effect. There is plenty about this on the Internet; the trick is knowing when it applies to you.

And women’s skin in our 40s is not as elastic as before, weird lines and dents start to become more pronounced, not to mention the indentations from clothes, socks and the like that take forever to even out.  Our elbows and knees … I discovered that excess knee fat is a thing and that elbows and heels need a lot of extra help.

Perimenopause specifically can also precipitate extremely dry skin. This type of itchy and dry is not easily quenched by just any old moisturiser, you need something that properly helps to add moisture and promote hydration. The emollient effects of organic oils are often touted in this regard.  

Furthermore, as one prone to bruising, I have discovered that clumsy incidents that lead to bruises actually increase during perimenopause. I also started to notice that my skin was taking longer to recover from these incidents. An example to illustrate is the time when I pushed a wheelchair-bound elderly aunt up a ramp during the festive season years back.

The bruise as a result was a real beauty, all the colours you can imagine, but what was slightly concerning was that I still had a dark mark well into June the following year, very unlike previous times.

My physician managed to spot it and I found the link to vitamin D, which dramatically drops in your 40s. It is worth keeping an eye out for vitamin D-related news if you have some issues with incontinence. You ladies know what I am talking about.

Embrace ageing

I hear you mumble that younger-looking skin is not the be-all and end-all of life. What about simply embracing ageing?

Yes, I actually agree that we should embrace the process, and really enjoy every day of our lives. At this juncture, I will mention that my younger self vehemently opposed to cosmetic surgery.

But I have sometimes looked at not-so-firm skin and for a brief moment or ten wondered about lifting something here or there … 

The point is that I can understand that women may want to take that route, and my stance, though the same as before, is now one of much more compassion and empathy.

However, I still believe that any surgery is invasive. Even though surgery has become commonplace, there are still so many risks involved. My opinion as always is that it is good to have everything backed up medically for informed decisions.

I am also gratified to be able to say that more and more people are reporting amazing results simply by exercising the muscles in their faces through massage and other techniques. Apparently it helps with those dreaded double chins and I do some myself.

Adult acne

Let us also not forget about adult acne that can also hit in perimenopause. And why would that be a novel, far-fetched idea if hormones are once again out of whack? So please beware, and as I mentioned before, being forewarned is being forearmed. There are plenty of ways to tackle ageing skin and I prefer to use more organic ways of dealing with it including what I eat as part of my diet. Food for thought, isn’t it?

This may be getting under your skin. You may be thinking that it is all vanity at this stage. It is no skin off your nose so to speak. Who cares about make-up, appearance and looking good anyway? Shouldn’t people love you just as you are? Is that old adage about beauty being skin deep not true?  

This is such a tricky one. I believe that people make snap decisions on who you are based on how you present yourself. You have split seconds to be in control of how they will relate to you, and in a way, it makes taking the time to take care of yourself all the more worth it. I will say it and say it again; in most issues we need to find the balance and therein lies the challenge.

No discussion on skin, however, is complete without the mention of dry-skin brushing and the benefits of exercise. Physical exercise won’t necessary prolong our lifespans, but it will certainly for a better quality of life.

I feel like I am sending out missives into the world, I only do so to inform those who may still experience these symptoms in the hope that they will be able to get help or start on a journey to a healthier and more active life sooner rather than later. And for the women a decade or more away, the opportunity to nourish their bodies so that they are able to ride out this storm. I am, quite literally, hoping to save someone’s skin.

Sensation of spiders crawling on skin

I have so much more to say on the matter. We are not even done with the skin yet. Did you know that some people experience sensations of spiders crawling under their skin as a symptom of perimenopause? Want to know more?

If you dare to do so, catch me next time for the skinny of more aspects of ageing. We are going to chat about the effects of ageing on the body from the top of one’s head to the soles of one’s feet.  The list of issues I am compiling here is not exhaustive, more an in-a-nutshell attempt to let you know what you can expect. I implore you to do your own research as everyone’s experience is different: genetics, previous injuries, overall health and mind-set all play a role.

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