For appearance’s sake
One day, while taking one of my customary walks, I became quite curious about a specific house in passing. It had clearly seen better days and was minus a layer or two of paint – weather-worn is probably the best way to describe it. I wondered about the homeowners; seemingly they were unable to maintain the upkeep. Even the colour of the curtains seemed faded. Jaded was the feel I got from the place and I found myself wondering about what it looked inside.
Would it also show signs of neglect, of being past its prime and in need of some TLC? Then my mind drifted to people. Was there a correlation between what was exuded on the exterior versus the true state of the heart? Are beautiful people the ones with the most beautiful of hearts and exemplary strength of character, and vice versa?
Beautiful inside and out?
I pondered, considered, contemplated… In my experience, the people who were the most beautiful had life outcomes at odds with the beauty that they exuded on the outside. My mind quickly did memory gymnastics and a somersault or two – the beautiful actresses and supermodels with complicated love lives came to mind. Happiness seemed to have eluded them and seemingly physical allure was not a marker for bliss. Beautiful women mired in depression and filled with suicidal ideations flitted across my mind too. Beauty, it became clear, was no key to happiness.
We have heard the adage, look good, feel good. I can tell you first-hand how important it is. When I have nails that are unkempt, I feel self-conscious; having a bad-hair day, I just don’t respond as self-assuredly as I would like; and having huge zit on my face is an instant confidence breaker. So yes, what I look like on the outside affects my mood and simple grooming can go a long way to help with that. The effort one makes tells people about what it is that one values? So there is a correlation there in that sense.
Physical appearance exalted
After thinking long and hard, it seemed to me that as a society, we may be part of the problem. It would appear that the value of physical appearance has been exalted to the extent that it seems to rank higher than the content of one’s character.
Are we so shallow as to subscribe to the school of what you see is what you get? When there is so much more to most of us than meets the eye; when the depth of beauty in our souls sometimes takes a lifetime to unearth – why are we so fixated on simply being pretty? Why is having other strengths and being endowed with fine character not as esteemed these days?
Yet, we are obsessed, as the surge in the number of beauty-related surgeries indicates. What drives this obsession especially among those who may feel like they do not have the requisite standard of beauty? Why is it so devastating? I mean, people are generally not devastated when their IQs do not meet stratospheric heights, but the size of some body parts and the shape of others are so important that people alter themselves to get it. Is it because we can literally see our bodies but not our brains? Is it as confoundedly superficial as that?
Beauty outweighs education?
I found photographer Zed Nelson’s remarks particularly interesting. It is from an article written a decade ago, but seemingly not much has changed. He gleaned his insights from travelling the world documenting how body improvement had practically become a new religion. This is what he said about the beauty versus brains conundrum.
“Americans spend more each year on beauty than they do on education.” That blew my mind. Have movies, the pressures of social media and proliferation of apps played a role? Probably – and reality seems as far-fetched as ever. Never mind the airbrushing of models in the past, now there is a filter for everything and images are often staged to boot. All is not as it seems, beauty isn’t just skin deep and the reality is often vastly different. Are we just so easily duped?
Iran, hub of rhinoplasty
Ruminating on his jarring comment, I was vexed even further. He proceeded to mention Iran. I thought that they were of the most conservative of nations worldwide. According to him, it turns out that they are finding the need to have American-style noses. Furthermore, I discovered that Iran is the rhinoplasty hub of the world.
His remark only inflated my bewilderment: “When I arrived in Iran, I was amazed,” Nelson says. “My interpreter had had a nose job, as had her mother, her sister, and her two best friends. People were proudly walking in the streets with bandaged noses, excited to be the new owners of small, chiseled, American-style noses.”
The civilizations of old, those of biblical origin hail from that part of the world and by all accounts, they were a beautiful people. What was this about? My mind automatically drifted to all the beauties in the Bible; and may I add, there is quite a list. Did their beauty and the outcome of their lives correlate?
Bible beauties of old
I turned to Jacob slaving away for 14 years in order to marry the outstandingly beautiful Rachel. For Jacob, time flew by and it felt like a few days so giddily in love was he, entranced by the magnificence of her beauty. Genesis 29:17 remarks that Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. If the Bible says so, you better believe that she was a stunner.
The same verse describes her sister as having weak eyes. As she was the eldest, she managed to snag Jacob first, but he had eyes only for Rachel. Yet, it was Leah with whom he had the majority of his children and with whom he was ultimately buried.
Rachel died in childbirth and Jacob had a broken heart. Her two boys were her husband’s pride and joy. Yet, her life overall was full of shenanigans: mandrakes, an idol, never-ending competition with her sister and a significant lie or two. Despite having her husband’s affections, the final word on her life cannot be described as happy, content or successful. And what about her relationship with God?
Another woman’s beauty caused her tremendous heartache. Her life could not be described as a bed of roses either. The Bible, in 2 Samuel 11:2 describes Bathsheba as very beautiful though. Yet, it turned out to be the catalyst for events that led to the death of her first husband and that of her first-born son. There were more consequences besides. Mercifully, her life, though tragic, ultimately had meaning – she was mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus.
Then there was another beauty called Esther, who stole a king’s heart and was God’s tool to save his people, but who could not practice her Jewish beliefs and had to hide her true identity. Her beauty seemed to be both a blessing and a curse. Having a brush with death on more than one occasion, I wonder what she would have thought of the role her beauty played. It was her trust in God that ultimately saved the day.
Beauty to get ahead
Is modern-day living any different? Let’s find out. A BBC article explained the state of things in China a scant few years ago before Covid-19 reared its ugly head, I quote:
Procedures are particularly prevalent among young people. The South China Morning Post newspaper said in 2019 that nearly two-thirds of the 20 million people who underwent procedures the previous year were under 30, and “one in five were post-millennials”, under the age of 21. The paper said that many high-school graduates chose to “go under the knife before starting university, believing it will improve their chances at work and in love”.
Dying for beauty
Interestingly, it would appear that pretty people are valued higher in the workplace too, why else would people go to such lengths in order to get it? Beauty as a way to get ahead is certainly not unheard of, what is not though is that the pressure is being felt en masse. Have beauty and vanity grown exponentially in the high stakes of life to become the most important commodity above else?
I wondered how far people were willing to go to achieve beauty standards for the sake of their appearance if they felt less than well endowed. Turns out, some have paid the ultimate price. Tragically, the woman who was generally regarded as Kim Kardashian’s lookalike, Christina Ashten Gourkani, died due to complications from plastic surgery a few weeks ago.
But she is not alone in experiencing complications; I was devastated to read about the fate that befell the upcoming, beautiful actress, Gao Liu, who posted pictures of the necrosis of the nose in 2021. Her rhinoplasty was botched leaving her with an unwanted, life-altering and seemingly career-ending appearance for life. I have heard of a woman who lost limbs after a nose job gone wrong.
Furthermore, also in 2019, a headline screamed, Dying for a new body: why so many deaths from plastic surgery tourism?
10 of the Most Common Plastic Surgery Complications
Yes, it would appear that the quest for vanity can actually kill you. Did you know that there are many side effects? These are not often discussed but can leave one significantly worse off or dead. I cite a few as mentioned in an article describing 10 of the Most Common Plastic Surgery Complications:
- Hematoma – a pocket of blood that resembles a large, painful bruise and a risk of nearly all surgeries.
- Seroma – a condition that occurs when serum, or sterile body fluid, pools beneath the surface of the skin, resulting in swelling and sometimes pain.
- Blood loss
- Infection
- Nerve damage
- Deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism
- Organ damage
- Scarring
- General appearance dissatisfaction
- Complications of anaesthesia
Brazilian butt lift
Would you voluntarily take these risks? Research revealed that the number one procedure requested by people all over the world is the Brazilian Butt Lift. It had me bumfuzzled for sure. A Guardian article titled, Brazilian Butt Lifts Surge, Despite Risks, was case in point. It mentioned that “The procedure has the highest mortality rate of any cosmetic surgery, but many women are undaunted.”
Men in pursuit of elusive change of appearance
Make it make sense. And what about the fellows? Are they also succumbing to new beauty norms? Sadly, some guys have been influenced by their favourite K-pop idols, in particular, and have tried to transform themselves. Oli London, now an activist, realised the error of his ways after he tried to change his appearance to look and even identify as Korean. Just recently a Canadian actor died in hospital in his pursuit of Korean beauty and his BTS K-pop idol specifically.
And it is no co-incidence that Seoul, South Korea, should be in the spotlight. It has been dubbed the plastic surgery capital of the world. Isn’t it ironic that a city called Seoul is a place where the beauty of the soul is not celebrated, no, rather the beauty of the human form. Should we not be dealing with issues of the heart and soul instead, not just skin-deep ones? Perhaps, if we loved our inner selves, we would accept ourselves and possibly be happier people as a result.
As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and for some, a more detailed view from the beholder is required. I agree, being easy on the eye has its own splendour. But all of us possess some beauty; all of us have beautiful aspects. It would appear that our value as humans has been reduced to our overall aesthetic. Is the toll too heavy a one to exact? Is making all this effort to be beautiful worth it only to discover that outward appearance does not reflect identity and produces feelings of inauthenticity as a result? Or worse still, can lead to one’s demise? Oli London, who I mentioned earlier, had just such a realisation about identity – and for him it wasn’t worth it. I think most of us would agree.
Joseph’s phenomenal life
The Bible has much to say about the heart, but has also had its fair share of rather good looking men. David and Saul, who I discussed in depth in a previous podcast, were both lookers. God has never said that beauty is wrong. In fact, he literally makes beautiful people, but fit for his purposes.
Once again, my biblical hero, Joseph, whom I mentioned earlier and who was also regarded as quite a looker in his own right, provides some insight. Genesis 39:6 states the following:
6 So Potiphar left everything he had in Joseph’s care; with Joseph in charge, he did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate.
Now Joseph was well-built and handsome.
Oh dear, it was also Joseph’s undoing – Mrs Potiphar noticed the young man and wanted to go to bed with him. His heroic struggle for purity landed him in jail. His life was not defined by his appearance, no, his legacy trumped that altogether. He became the second most powerful man in all Egypt, and served God’s purpose of providing a place for his chosen people to settle amid famine. Let see what the Bible says about him in Genesis 49: 22-24,
22 “Joseph is a fruitful vine, a fruitful vine near a spring, whose branches climb over a wall. 23 With bitterness archers attacked him; they shot at him with hostility. 24 But his bow remained steady, his strong arms stayed limber, because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel, …
Jesus’ immense intensity
Ultimately, the indelible mark of his life was that of a soft heart moved to forgive under difficult circumstances, his belief in the dream God had given him as a teen despite evidence to the contrary, his leadership of a nation in a crisis and much more besides. His looks were incidental. On the other hand, it would be remiss of me not to mention the King of kings. Isaiah 53:2 describes Jesus as someone who was not particularly good looking in his natural body, I quote the text:
2He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
Jesus, the greatest man to walk the earth had people follow him constantly. I suspect that the God-power emanating from him must have been immense. Not to mention the intensity in his eyes and his unwavering convictions that changed the course of history. Now to me, that is a man to behold. In the book, Jesus the same, Charles Edward Jefferson paints a picture of Jesus as follows:
“But if you would have the finest proof of his power, you can find it in the intensity of the hatred and in the intensity of the love which he excited. How many hated him! They could not hear him talk without sizzling, hissing and boiling like a pot under which the fire roars. He stirred tempests in the heart; he awoke serpents in men. He drove them to madness until they cried out in a frenzy, ‘Crucify him!’ Only a great man can do that. You cannot hate a weakling, a ninny, you can hate Nero or Napoleon or any giant, but you cannot hate a nobody. “
Looks fade, but character remains
That a deep-seated, love-hate relationship exists within us with regard to our personal appearances is indisputable – what isn’t always is that the outcome of our lives is not dependent on our looks when we look through the long lens of life and vantage point of the end.
If we are not quite the gorgeous specimens we hoped to be, perhaps, God has a different purpose for our lives for which we do not need to have the measurements of a supermodel or looks of an actress.
People blessed to have become advanced in age do not hesitate to tell one that it is the relationships forged and the family built that really make the difference. Fading looks do not really even factor into that equation.
Eating well and exercising should be a part of our lifestyles, thus keeping our bodies in shape. However, I would also implore us to live lives of incredible adventure, pushing the limits of what we believe is possible. Perhaps, we could invest more in our characters – being as beautiful on the inside as we desire to be on the outside.
From the tragic lives of those in the Bible and the ones who have lost their lives striving to look just that bit better with varying results; I believe, that looking back, they would tell us that being happy with oneself and changing the things that darken one’s soul may be the better way of doing things.
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