Floored by fluctuating hormones
It is why I also feel compelled to share this with other women. It is why I want to tell my story so that perhaps another woman struggling out there will hear it and have an inkling of what is going on and get the necessary help.
Imogen
Around Christmas 2019, with two days to go before the special day, I remember running errands and being quite excited to conclude last-minute shopping at the mall. To my knowledge, I was fit and healthy and my annual holiday had just started. I recall locking my car and while I was still in the parking lot on the way in when I felt a sharp pain in my hip.
That was unusual and I immediately started to wonder where I could have injured myself in the day or so prior as I am quite accident prone. But strangely, I could not remember anything significant. I cautiously proceeded with my shopping, but, as you can imagine this was an unexpected dampener.
By Christmas day itself, I felt very tired, but chalked it up to the preparations. Later on that week, though fatigued, I experienced more problems in both hips to the point where I could not sleep comfortably. To compound matters I then started to experience really blurry eyesight – out of nowhere. As someone who is farsighted and who had experienced significantly worsening eyesight within a short space of time, this was alarming and I freaked out big time.
Internal vibrations
A few weeks later, I had one of the scariest physical symptoms to date, I felt like I was vibrating inside, my body felt totally out of sync. I could not explain it to others and then the dreaded headaches came. Up to that point, I had rarely had headaches, certainly not the pounding ones that I then started to experience.
To say I was at wits’ end was an understatement. To add to my consternation, I was also experiencing heart palpitations and anxiety because I did not know when these symptoms would strike. Things like my face pulling stiff or involuntary twitching of my lips and muscles under my cheekbone were also starting to occur.
I went to the emergency unit at a local hospital one Sunday as I could not see my general practitioner. Alarmingly, I really felt out of sorts, so accompanied by my sister, I sought help. While doing the ECG electrocardiogram, my heart just started to beat uncontrollably fast and I could not explain why. Summarily, I was informed that it was anxiety and booked off for a few days and given a prescription to treat it.
Anxiety
Bearing in mind that I am a hypochondriac, I was temporarily relieved. I thought I was going to be fine, but I did not quite understand why anxiety was the main issue, but reckoned that hey, if this was the case, then I was going to be alright. It was – for a few weeks. But then the dreaded headaches struck again.
Funnily enough, I picked up a correlation in the dates, around the same period of time in the month, but did not quite make the connection. This time, I went to the general practitioner with all my symptoms and we started the process of determining the cause and eliminating all other possibilities. We had to tackle my anxiety because I was prone to exhibit the same skittishness characteristic of horses and had been treated for anxiety before.
Then one day, as I was calmly sitting at my desk at work, really not stressed at all, ready to enjoy a quiet lunch, I felt these weird shaking and trembling sensations come over me. I told my colleague I was going to the pharmacy to get some medication but I was beside myself. I could not link these involuntary reactions and I was now very afraid. Only the people in my inner circle had an inkling.
As part of my treatment plan, I had been advised to go for counselling to address my #anxiety. On my way to my first appointment, it literally felt as though my skin was tightening and adhering to my face – from the base to the top, it is difficult to describe. It had never ever happened to me before. Boy, the level of anxiety was now through the roof.
News of Covid-19 starts to trickle in
At this juncture, news of Covid-19 starting trickling in, slowly at first and then boom, the first case arrived on South African shores and hysteria all over the world became a reality and there was more to stress about. The weekend before everything came to a standstill, I remember going out to the theatre with friends. I absolutely loved the production, but as soon as I left, while we were in the foyer, I realised something was wrong with my upper leg and groin area.
I thought I had clenched my body too tightly due to you guessed it, stress. I was the designated driver and did not want to make a big deal of it, but wondered what this was about. Not long after, I also started having episodes where my legs felt weak and for short periods could not even feel the extremities and soon I was at panic station.
The day before the official start of lockdown, I went for some physiotherapy. I wanted to get some additional help before going into that period. My physiotherapist was really good and the session was great. Though I thought I would sleep like a baby that night, I woke up with the worst headache ever. Then lockdown commenced. Initially it was thought that it would last for three weeks, which obviously was not the case. I entered lockdown thoroughly discouraged.
Lockdowns start
But the lockdown was also my saving grace. I must confess, #Covid-19 was not that big of a deal to me at the time, what I was experiencing was my all-consuming issue, even though I followed what was happening worldwide, how could I not, that was all that made the headlines and most of us were at home all day anyway. I prayed for relief and consulted the Scriptures like you cannot believe.
I was trying all sorts of things to figure out what was wrong because I felt that though filled with anxiety, it stemmed from one major source, and that was undoubtedly my health. I thought I had something like Parkinson’s disease because I experienced twitches and would just start shaking involuntarily. If I held an object too long, I would just start shaking. I experienced numbness and tingling sensations in my legs as well. But even that felt weird because of how rapidly I was declining. Something was not adding up. A while later, I discovered that a friend of mine was going through the same thing.
Advice from a good friend
I am also most grateful to another good friend whom I confided in at that time. She told me, and rightly so, not to give in to these negative thoughts that I was having, but to really discipline my mind and focus on healing and good thoughts. I felt like I was in a real battle, and yes, spiritually too.
It was also at that juncture in time that I remember coming across public forums where women would share symptoms and I had AHA moments. I could relate. When those headaches came in the middle of the night, I would sit and google my symptoms and read post after post. These forums became a lifeline. Here I would read about people who were suffering in the same way as I was and also learn about what they were doing to alleviate the symptoms. It was such a treasure to me to know that I was not alone.
Not alone
I wasn’t going crazy. They were sharing their stories and I was somehow experiencing profound relief. Women also recommended natural remedies, reassured others and gave feedback on what worked or what did not. I started to breathe a little bit easier. My anxiety about my health slowly started to dissipate even though there were some other stressors in life, Covid-19 notwithstanding.
I would like to pay tribute to these unknown women who shared their stories in a forum, some simply to get help, women whose advice and vulnerability helped me to understand that I may have to consider that all this was linked to hormones – juxtaposed to puberty, I thought these were raging in reverse.
Trusting the Lord to help me through this difficult patch, I started to see how I could balance my hormones naturally. Remember, this was at the beginning of Covid-19 and I would try various supplements to see if it made a difference. I will not recommend anything because I am not a doctor, but I found that certain vitamin supplements helped and the symptoms became manageable.
Fluctuating hormones
One is, however, never sure when the hormonal, let us call them glitches, are coming. I also started to have severe brain fog. That is genuinely a chat for another episode. I also experienced itchy skin, and some seriously bad breath, even though I was doing what needed to be done and it was mortifying. Not to mention night sweats and bad body odour. Fun times, right.
But the good news is this: Being forewarned is being forearmed. We are not sitting ducks; we can address these symptoms with our healthcare professionals, get medication for it or manage it naturally. And it is different for all of us. I got through the initial trauma, and believe me it was traumatic, on my knees before my God who relieved my fears as he said he would and led me to the required information during Covid-19.
It is why I also feel compelled to share this with other women. It is why I want to tell my story so that perhaps another woman struggling out there will hear it and have an inkling of what is going on and get the necessary help.
Illumination
These symptoms mimic a number of other health conditions and if treated in isolation, can cause even more anguish. Perhaps, being aware of this will provide the illumination needed in the situation, to help women to remain calm and seek help from a healthcare professional while providing them with all the information to help in the best way possible.
I would also love younger women to understand that the hormonal imbalances experienced as #perimenopause exist and that in isolated cases it can strike as early as one’s late thirties. Not to be an alarmist, I just want to reassure you that this is treatable and the prolonged suffering is not necessary.
Did you know that besides some of the symptoms mentioned earlier, you could also find yourself becoming increasingly clumsy – breaking glasses and crockery is more commonplace than what one would like in this phase? Inexplicable falls, muscular aches and pains as well as backache become the norm. There are issues with gums and teeth, and skin and foot problems also arise, etc. The list continues, but having knowledge helps us not just to cope but to adjust to the changes in our bodies victoriously.
There is so much more to cover on this topic and I will be covering some aspects over the next few articles. Discover the effects of these fluctuations on various parts of our body and psyche and figure out what we can do to alleviate it, literally to put the sparkle back in our lives, and in full appreciation for all the beauty that is this life, take out the fairy lights to celebrate and enjoy all those special moments with our nearest and dearest.
Everything can feel as though it is slipping away a bit. Some days are more daunting than others and sometimes we feel quite overwhelmed and sensitive about it all.
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