Faith in the fruit of my labour – and confidence to continue
I have been vacillating between two courses of action regarding my future of late. One would be the wide, more trodden path; the other a bit of a long shot – the riskier option of sticking my neck out and persevering on the path I currently tread. Doubt and lack of confidence – dogged companions.
For some time now, buoyed by circumstances and a desire to do work that I loved, I have found myself trying to find my feet within the online, solopreneurship space. Pursuing this despite financial fragility is never easy, especially when one is older, and perhaps not as tech savvy as one would like.
Financial backing and time investment
Anything business-related worth doing or investing in requires initial financial backing and an injection of time. Online businesses, in particular, require upfront time investment to build an audience who would likely support a platform, channel, website, etc., or pave the way for sponsorship or affiliate marketing. There is often very little success at the beginning – as in nature, there is a dormant period; it takes a while for an idea to sprout. And many give up as a result.
Most successful solopreneurs and content creators consistently mention that it takes many months before there is any sign of growth – the germination process – and the promising green shoot feels so elusive. At that time, it seems as though living on a prayer and one’s passion sustained by a dream are the ingredients required to keep going every day, but how long can one continue without tangible results?
While working hard to produce content, life goes on and bills need to be paid. Thus pressing responsibilities exacerbated by a turbulent economic landscape can hinder risk-taking for already risk-averse individuals and erode confidence to proceed exponentially. My fears are definitely not unfounded. News24 reported about the South African economic environment – and it does not look so good:
“According to the University of the Western Cape, South Africa has a higher start-up failure rate – 70-80% of small businesses fail in the first five years – than elsewhere in the world. Cash flow is key to keeping businesses afloat … “
Fruit for my labour
As I committed my path to God, I seemed to understand in my spirit that there was a going to be fruit for my labour. I was intrigued, after googling for a bit, there was not much on the specific topic, but my interest had been piqued and I researched some more. It reminded me of a Scripture that resonated with my heart during another, rather poignant and somewhat turbulent time.
It mirrored a time years ago when I also felt a sense of loss after ploughing into people’s lives and working hard in a ministry I loved, only to see it go up in smoke. Sad and flailing in my faith, I pondered whether the time and effort I had ploughed into God’s kingdom were worth it. At that particular juncture, it seemed as though it had all come to naught. The resounding answer from the Bible was the verse in 2 Corinthians 15:58.
58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain.
Faith
That particular passage of Scripture had been such a source of comfort then. Now, the doubt, albeit slightly different, returned with a vengeance despite the fact that I was embarking on a path that I believed was from God. The nagging fears persisted. Would this new path work out? Would I run out of money? Would other people regard me as irresponsible? A failure? Am I waiting for outcomes that would never come? Where is the line between patience and results? And I desperately wanted to see results.
When it comes to faith, seeing is definitely not believing. No, faith is an entirely different kettle of fish. Hebrew 11:1 describes it this way:
11 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Trust
I prayed, the message in my heart was always to trust God. To trust that He would reward me for the effort I put in and that there would be fruit to show for it somehow. The words of the late Derek Prince, in a recorded piece, rammed home the fact that no fruit is produced without cultivation – and cultivation is hard work. From planting the seeds, fertilising the soil, watering it, removing weeds, ensuring the right amount of exposure to sunlight, etc.
Having green fingers is how I would characterise my nuclear family’s gardening prowess. I, on the other hand, know very well how to kill plants. Not even a cactus is safe around me. But because I know how difficult it is to keep plants alive, I think I understand the analogy well too.
It requires a lot of effort: the reward, though, is that someday, a green shoot might make its way out. Bearing in mind that by the time germination has occurred and green shoots finally appear, one has to prevent other pests from devouring it or the dog digging it up. No, cultivating a garden or crop is no easy feat. It can take years and dare I say it: hard work, perseverance and faith.
Adene’s Flower Farm
I have a fertile imagination and febrile characteristics: the perfect environment to plant such seeds. And they were taking root in my heart. By what I believe is “God-incidence”, the origin story of a South African trailblazer in the flower industry came to my attention at just about that time too.
Despite loving the stunningly arresting flowers that she produces on her farm having ventured out there myself, I did not realise quite how much effort, time and money went into it. Astoundingly, like many others out on a limb and starting an endeavour, there were also no guarantees.
I was shown an Instagram post that shed more light on how Adene Nieuwoudt, the owner, had given it her all. I quote the post of 18 June:
“True words. I have never worked so hard in my life since starting Adene’s Farm Flowers. The first 4 years it was very intense. I worked 7 days a week, 16-hour days. Doing everything from picking, planting, packing out orders, admin and I was even the delivery driver the first few years – I was completely burnt out.”
Wow, that is what it took to produce her splendid floral delights. Inspiringly, her enterprising spirit and flower-farm endeavour had grown from strength to strength and blossomed. It was clear that she was thriving, but equally evident was the fact that none of it had been easy. It never is and hard work in this case, too, was a hallmark of her success. Her Instagram page’s bio also reveals a bit of her motivation: “💕Let your dreams be your wings”.
I am sure that during those heady early days, she, too, had doubts and was faced with stark realities. Of course, it is unlikely that could ever have known how wildly successful she would become a scant few years later. Imagine, if she allowed doubts to prey on her mind and put her off – or be out off by the first obstacles she faced and sit back defeated? No, she pressed on and many of us are enjoying the “fruits” and flowers of her labour. And they are absolutely stunning – making those rocky first few years all worth it. It was imperative that for her to believe that her efforts would be rewarded.
I do not possess that natural flair for entrepreneurship that some risk takers seem to have. However, it is gratifying to know that it can be cultivated as demonstrated by many a woman who had to what needed to be done to eke out a living and help to feed the family.
Greater importance of entrepreneurship
The pursuit of entrepreneurship is crucial though – the World Bank states its importance as follows:
Its importance thus stretches well beyond the individual to the society at large and is worth pursuing and putting everything on the line. However, a word of caution has been extended to those interested in this as reported: “It’s a known fact that over thirty percent of start-ups fail within two years. This isn’t meant to scare you into avoiding starting your own business, but to showcase the reality of entrepreneurship. Successful entrepreneurship involves taking risks. “
Yet, sometimes I feel positively allergic to risk in some spheres of my life, but doing what I feel “called” to do involves taking some risks. I err on the side of caution most days, but depending on how you see it or I employ it; caution could either be my special superpower or kryptonite.
Going solo or starting a business of one’s own is agony and no light decision. One has to be prepared to accept the consequences – whether good or bad. One has to have a skill set that can generate income and possess a sober assessment of competency. I learned early on that high quality and excellence are not negotiable. It sets one apart and earns one the word-of-mouth referrals that are so crucial to success in the long term. And yes, there will be rookie mistakes.
Website
Take, for example, my newly crafted website. I have already learnt so many lessons since starting the journey, but had I not started out; it would all still be technical and abstract to me. Now I know exactly what I would do if I had to do it all over again – experience gained by turning knowledge into action. Younger entrepreneurs are placing so much value on taking action these days, and it seems to be paying off. In the long run, if I need to return to the corporate environment, it should also stand me in good stead.
But the whispers in my heart tell me to continue on the path less travelled, even though I feel I am tempted to embrace the safety net. Despite hesitancy to do work that does not inspire me or align with my passions. I know what it feels like when what you do for work is so divergent to your interests that it leaves you feeling depressed, apathetic and out of sync with yourself – but that is playing it safe for you.
That is exactly the choice laid out in front of me: do I play it safe or do I keep risking and giving 100 per cent? Doubt and worry have definitely robbed me of productivity and focus as I deliberate what to do, all the more so as I have given myself a deadline and need to be cranking on.
Writing
Unsurprisingly, writing itself helps me to attain clarity – something I learned from Julia Cameron, whom I discovered when I was drowning in the confusion that typified the younger me. It came at a time at a time when I was feeling particularly rudderless and down in the doldrums. Something deep inside of me wanted something more fulfilling instead of merely existing and doing work that left me insipid and uninspired – so definitive of my work-life fifteen years or so ago.
Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way rocked the boat of my misguided beliefs. The unerring compass of the soul I thought best to ignore and bury in the sand, powerfully reawakened, took root and started to bud, and in the process, even bloom. All in all, it navigated me straight back to what matters at its core.
Finally, when the time was right, The Right to Write beckoned with its incessant whisper that implored me to keep learning the ropes. I will for ever be grateful for the timely nudges that inspired me to take bold leaps of faith in the direction of my dreams and, ultimately, find my artist’s way.
Now that I was on this path of being a content creator in a way, it felt as though marketing, promotion and sales – generally a way to make money and a living was impinging on this hard-fought battle fraught with challenges, doubts and pitfalls.
A decision to be made
With all the tools of the trade I had learned over the years, the courses I took, the knowledge gleaned and hard-won experience – would I trust God with it and allow him to set my course and be captain of the ship of my life? Would the stories of other creators who had trod this path before me be my inspiration and would I doggedly follow where I believed God was taking me? In theory, yes. But that is not how things work, is it? Action, as all the Twitter gurus tout, must be taken.
So, I have decided to give it one more shot. To give my best until the results come – one way or another. By committing to such an outcome, I will ensure that I have no regrets in the end, which somehow brings me full circle to that time when I understood that no labour was in vain mentioned earlier.
No regrets
That realisation at that juncture in time followed hot on the heels of a decision inspired by the title and tune of Edith Piaf’s timeless song “No regrets”. It was the catalyst for a decision that would see me placing tremendous value on what I call a “no-regrets quotient” as a determinant of future decisions.
As someone who prefers routine and easily finds herself in a comfort zone, it always takes some doing to jolt me out of it. Rather than do something risky, I have known myself to remain in a situation out of fear of the unknown.
This decision to pursue the path that leads to no regrets has proven to be the single greatest catalyst for growth and change in my life and has unerringly unearthed and decimated the weeds of regret. It is reminiscent of the quote by Anais Nin.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
I have already taken significant risks and it would be foolish, if not foolhardy, of me not to take it to its conclusion as I would always wonder and have regrets. Until that moment when it becomes pertinently clear that I am barking up the wrong tree, there is no time to doubt only to continue and ensure that, in the end, I have no regrets. What about you? Are you tackling a project in the near future?
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