More blessed to give than to receive
Advent
In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Acts 20:35
In the authentic spirit of Christmas, it would be highly remiss of me not to remind you of Jesus’ heart and words. After all, Advent is a time when many people are delighted to share the joy of Christmas and the season with others. It is the time when we really knuckle down and consider the birth and life of Immanuel – God with us. And what a time to focus on giving to others.
I am so grateful for the many people who run projects for the poor throughout the city I live as I have seen how marvellous it is first-hand. A few years ago, eager to volunteer but not sure in what capacity, I stumbled upon a project in a popular, leisure and chic neighbourhood in the city.
Volunteering with a difference
Despite having volunteered many times before, this one stood out as one of my most memorable experiences ever.
I believe, in part, because I had never been to one as well organised and focused on the individual as this. Additionally, since I was unencumbered by arrangements, I could just enjoy the day for what it was.
Immediately apparent was that relationships had been built with the poor prior to this day – it wasn’t a flash-in-the-pan type of event. No, it was evident that there had been some investment in this community.
Volunteers knew some of the people by name and stories soon emerged of how the former had helped individuals with day-to-day life tasks like helping them to apply for official documents, etc.
It was slick – a caterer had been called and the meal looked healthy and scrumptious, and was served in a park-like setting. There was a definite festive spirit in the air that was contagious.
If my memory serves me correctly, music emanated from a sound system. Pre-loved clothes, and other items, etc. had been cleaned and, if necessary, ironed, and were laid out in an inviting way. Much-needed sanitary items were also on display.
Childlike excitement
With the anticipation and joy of children waiting to open their presents on Christmas morning, these adults were just raring to select their items. They had already been informed that each individual would have the opportunity to select three items, so they had to choose wisely.
It had the look and feel of Christmas market where one could select gifts rather than a sterile place devoid of joy to fulfil some duty. No, this was a place of effervescent giggling and joy.
Additionally, it was all so orderly, clean, neat and inviting. Besides the great bonhomie feel to it, there was discipline. An errant woman threw a hissy fit – more an attitude she had to adjust than anything else – but it was handled with dignity and discipline maintained.
Later, she shared some of her life story with us. She believed that she could have been a great singer. Her problem: “self-medication” had landed her on the streets. Her family had enforced boundaries and asked her to move out. However, she declared, her childhood bestie still brought her breakfast every day.
Lesson in boundaries
As someone who was a bit of an enabler myself; I was already thinking of how to help this woman, but then wisdom hit me right between the eyes. Her family was right, in more ways than one. She mentioned that her sister was a lawyer and I am sure it caused them immense pain to ask her to leave, but they had to draw the line. They could not enable her behaviour after repeated warnings.
Her guilt-ridden best friend probably felt compelled to help, but it is highly likely that her “goodwill” offering was the reason this woman remained on the street. It was sustenance enough to keep her fed on a daily basis enabling her to use the money to, feed her drug habit with the little she had. In effect, it then negated the need to re-establish connections with her family or clean up her life.
Tough love
I do not judge any of them and some details are sketchy now, years later. But with spell-binding clarity, it recalibrated my thinking. For the first time in my dealings with the poor, I understood that sometimes tough love was the best.
I realise that not everyone needs one to give a handout; some need compassion and a listening ear, others need a good talking to, while still others need practical help. A blanket approach is not the answer; going to Jesus for discernment is.
You probably think “duh”, don’t you? But I had struggled with my role of being like Christ for years before that and did not have the heart to say “no”. As a result, I was taken for a ride by some young lads on the streets desperate for food and money. Not their fault at all, I take full responsibility – it was my inability to lay down rules for my giving. The root of it was the misinterpretation of the Scriptures on giving.
Edified
That day, it dawned on me fully and seemed to make sense like never before. I had suffered with a bad case of boundary-less living. Boundary violations in my life have left me scarred and, on days when interactions threaten to reduce me to a puddle of tears, I often check for boundary injury. It is often the case.
But back to the fabulously festive Christmas shindig in the park. I became aware that some men had been given the opportunity to have their hair and beards trimmed while the women had access to treatments. It felt so incredibly satisfying being there.
The organisation of the Christmas drive was simply impressive. I felt the love of the volunteers and saw the fruit of the effort that had been made to make it such a special day.
Moreover, the dignity of the poor had been maintained, they had been served and many of the volunteers like me, I believe, were simply edified by being present.
It was one of the times I felt that Jesus would have been proud of how it was conducted and that people who are sometimes so marginalised and who feel on the outskirts of modern life in so many ways, felt so loved and included.
Beauty of boundaries
I think it was so mind-blowingly special because no misbehaving was tolerated, they knew that. Therein lay the beauty. There were boundaries, but those boundaries ensured that the time we all had was incredibly beautiful and that the community was served. Many more arrived sporadically, and there was some left for them too.
It has inspired me with my giving over the years. Build others up while you give to those who may be less fortunate.
And Jesus was right – isn’t he always? It is so blessed to give: something inside us all becomes like little children and our hearts are filled with joy. Didn’t Jesus say that the kingdom belongs to little children?
There is something incredible about experiencing God and this world like a little child. Yet, I am well aware; the adult world has left some of us feeling a little bruised inside. Maybe unexpected mishaps and disappointments have led to unintended heartbreak, and, perhaps, robbed us of our childlike innocence too.
Does not cost much
Yet, it is gratifying to that we do not need to spend a lot of money, we can spend time or give someone our undivided attention, or serve them in ways that are especially memorable.
The point is to give this season and beyond. I am so convinced that giving is such an integral part of the sowing and reaping principle. According to Proverbs, we reap what we sow. So if we give generously, it has a way of coming back to us, perhaps, not quite in the same way but those who are generous always seem to have enough.
Isn’t that just great news? If you have had any encouragement of love, joy or edification, kindly click on the heart and then spread the love on social platforms, please.
Feel free to share any stories of encouragement you experienced in the comments below. Follow me on X, formerly Twitter and Pinterest as we reach the next milestone together.
We resume our Advent musings next Monday. Do join me for the ride then.
Please note Scripture quoted throughout is taken from the New International Version.
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